6 Successful Marriage Tips
Successful Marriage Tips:
#1) Be committed: Isn't marriage a commitment in and of itself? Yes, if you really are putting forth every effort to strengthen your marriage. And no, if your effort is half hearted. Nothing worth it is easy.
The best example of being committed I've found is in Genesis 2:24. You've heard it before: a man is to leave his mother and father and "cleave" to his wife (paraphrased of course).
This goes both ways, a women is obligated to do the same thing!
You cannot run home to mom (or a best friend) when things aren't smooth. You have to turn to your spouse to find solutions together.
My lesson learned:
It was our first year of marriage; we were so in love (& naive). I was attending massage therapy school while my husband was working a construction job.
I also talked on the phone with my mother just about every day. In one of our conversations I told her something before I had discussed it with my husband (of course now I cannot remember what it was about).
It was important enough that I should have told him first. He didn't understand why I would take something of importance elsewhere before we discussed it.
Actually he was quite upset, he felt that if we were going to be married we needed to make those kind of decisions together.
He was right! The more you turn to each other in all aspects of life, the more committed you become.
This lesson was significant enough that I learned it quickly.
Be committed, and "cleave"!
Successful Marriage Tips: #2)Be selfless: My husband (pictured with our two girls) is a master of this rule.I have to credit my knowledge of it to him.
Now, I don't mean you have to give, give, give..... But you do need to think of your spouse first. Remember, you have to give in order to receive.
This isn't a "one way tip", it takes two. It only works if both people are putting the other first. But 9 times out of 10; if you start, your spouse will follow.
Example:
Sally is feeling selfish, her focus is on herself.
Not only is she being self-centered, but her husband feels neglected and unimportant as a result.
In his reaction to her, he pulls back, no longer engaging in the relationship.
On the flip side, Sally is feeling quite selfless.
She makes sure that her husband can relax after working a 12 hour day.
Maybe she gives him a little foot rub, or has a warm dinner waiting for him.
Then his reaction is warm and open.
He is reminded of how much he loves her.
He may be more inclined to put his socks in the hamper or even want to cuddle (or more) before bed.
Whatever your situation is, being selfless can go a long way with a good man.
Successful Marriage Tips:
#3)Have a Date Night: Your husband should be your boyfriend too! If he doesn't feel so inspired, maybe you should start acting more like his girlfriend!
It's a simple approach, and it works.
If he isn't romantically inclined, then you do it! If you love romance then create it. He will appreciate and reciprocate it. Having a date night brings the "love" back into your marriage.
If you want date night or romantic ideas,
click here.
Successful Marriage Tips:
#4) Say "I love you": How did you feel when your spouse first said that to you? Wasn't it an all-time high?
When my husband first told me that he loved me, I was so relieved that I cried (I was just glad I didn't have to say it first).
Those words (when said sincerely) are so powerful. When another human being has that kind of emotion towards you, you cannot help but feel safe and secure.
Does your spouse know that you love him? Or better yet, does he hear it every day.
There are many ways to "say" I love you. Maybe you could leave little love notes on his pillow now and then. Be creative.
Successful Marriage Tips:
#5) Be open to improving yourself: I have a little habit of asking my husband, "How are we doing?".
He knows that I'm searching for ways that I can improve. I am the first one to admit that I'm not perfect.And the best way to really see yourself is through your partner's eyes.
So ask; but only if you are willing to improve yourself.
You could turn this into your own little self help session.
Example:
Sit down with your spouse, have pen and paper for both of you.
Write down one or two things that both of you could change.
Exchange lists, and have a constructive conversation.
Pick an item from your partners list to work on.
*You both must be accepting and good listeners for this to work.
If you feel this would cause a fight, don't do it quite yet.
Wait until your marriage can withstand some constructive criticism.
Successful Marriage Tips:
#6)
Spiritual Marriage:
If you would like to learn more about this successful marriage tip, click on spiritual marriage. (I have devoted an entire page to this one.)
I believe that men, in their true nature are good creatures.
All it takes is a little understanding and love from you.
You might be surprised of your partner's pleasant reaction after putting the above tips into action.
Even if you are barely holding on by a thread; it may just be what you need.
I do have a few "disclaimers" about my "Sucessful Marriage Tips";
*This may not work for marriages that are too far gone; professional counselors are there for a reason. Use them.
*Not all men are created equal, especially if they are dependent upon any substance that alters thier mental capacity (alcohol &/or drugs).
*If you or your children are being abused, contact the women's shelter in your area (or other appropriate help) and LEAVE immediately.
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