Parenting Styles

Parenting styles. You probably have a certain style that you relate with. I know the one that I identify with is not the kind of parent that I want to be.

The important thing to remember is that you can choose (with some effort) what kind of parent you become.

I relate the most to #1 (authoritarian). And I don't like that. So I am learning to become more like #3 (effective).

Authoritarian parenting could be compared to a dictartorship. The parent barks commands and expects immediate action. Typically if the child's response is "no" or not quick enough; yelling or spanking is used.

The child obeys to escape the physical punishment. Most authoriatarian parents believe that this instills repect. But in actualiality their child is simply afraid of them.

This style of parenting also teaches the child that violence is okay. And that threatning others with physical harm gets them what they want. This child may develop into the class bully.

#2 Indulgent Parenting Style

Indulgent or passive parenting is being your child's "friend". This parent gives the child everything they want. The child is progammed to keep pushing until they get their way.

The child becomes complacant and expects that everything should be done for him. Typically they are considered the "spoiled brat".

Passive parenting is doing your child a disservice. He or she will never learn to take the initiative and be proactive.

#3 Effective Parenting Style

Also known as authoritative. Effective parenting is just that; effective. It teaches the child natural consequences and to take repsonsibility for their actions.

The parent is always consistant in all they do. They are firm, yet understanding.

This one takes practice and committment.

Wikipedia.org gives this definition:

"Authoritative parenting: This is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, an open dialogue about those rules and behaviors, and a child-centered approach. Authoritative parents, unlike authoritarian parents, encourage the child to be independent. Authoritative parents are not usually controlling allowing the child to explore more freely.[2] Authoritative parents are strict, demands obedience, but when punishing a child, the parent will always explain his or her motive for their punishment.[3] This is supposed to result in children having a higher self esteem, and being independent. Children who are subject to this kind of parenting may debate with their parents and may form their own opinions in order to justify their disobedience."

I do believe that effective parenting is the best choice. But it's not the easiest one. Nothing worth it is easy. It will be challenging; but your child will be better prepared for life.

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